You wouldn’t believe it, Jessie J remarks. There she was gearing up for her first album release in eight years, ecstatically in love with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the mother of a toddler after dealing with conception issues for ten years, feeling invincible. Suddenly in March she was found to have cancer in her breast.
The musician, real name Jess Cornish, is known for being brutally honest. The LP, the provocatively titled album, was intended as an transparent story, tackling every bit of hardship she’d experienced since she last worked on songs (endometrial issues, losing a baby, failed relationships, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with typical candour. The first single, the song No Secrets, was dropped in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. Her diagnosis. Then second single, her song Living My Best Life, was released in May and she was speaking publicly about how she was living her best life, while still secretly dealing with her cancer. Subsequently she shared the news, and in the start of summer she had a mastectomy.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” look. “I put out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m conducting every interview, and they inquire, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I answer, ‘Well, not much…’” she has just had to postpone shows because she’s awaiting cosmetic procedures.
We’re at a studio in the capital. She is dressed in a tan faux-leather coat, denim trousers with ornate white designs, off-white boots and big frames. Think motorcycle style meets 70s singer aesthetic. “I feel like I’m in the seventies and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” Like the film, I say, recalling the film. “I was nicknamed that in school!” She smiles. She is fast-thinking, irreverent and direct. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is planning to attempt her initial standup show in the coming year. “I love making people laugh. During performances I often tease the audience.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
She was preparing for an slot at the awards show when she found a lump. “I immediately went to get it looked at, had an ultrasound, and they told me, ‘It appears fine; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I was, like, ‘But I can feel it. I have arm pain and tingling in my hands whenever I get up.’ And they said, ‘We should biopsy it?’ The date was March 28, the following my birthday.” It was a Friday. The specialist told her if it was bad news she’d contact on the start of the week. By then the singer had persuaded herself it was fine. The way she tells it, it was simply too inconvenient to receive a diagnosis when she had so much on.
“Just two weeks before from debuting the project after years away and an extended break. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Is six okay?’ And I thought, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I join the call thinking it’s all going to be positive, and she says, ‘You might want to sit.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she reveals, ‘Unfortunately but your test results have shown malignant cells.’” How did you respond? “I replied, ‘Well, that’s not great. That’s not fucking great timing.’ My initial thought was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”
I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself
She considered the operation scary and bizarre. “I hate being put under. They walk you down. During crises you roll down in a bed, but now I just strolled down with a hospital gown and my rear exposed. It felt surreal.” But, Cornish says, she’s been lucky. Without chemo or radio, just the procedure. “Cancer is awful, but yet Luckily it was detected early. The surgery happened recently and my affected breast now looks like a odd shape.” Another grin. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The next operation is both medical and cosmetic. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “uneven. The size doesn’t match. So inconsiderate! I reflected, no need to bully me, I’m already having a difficult experience. Such disrespect! It’s funny because I said I’d not undergo augmentation because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be perfect. Cancer ruined that plan.”
Previous Struggles
Cornish is no stranger to illness. She believes her outlook on her diagnosis has been so optimistic because she’s used to physical challenges. Frequently they align with professional successes, functioning as a wake-up call, or blow, to remind her not to assume everything is fine. “Truly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘You having a good time? Take a seat.’ Ever since I was a child, it has always gone alongside high points for me; a major or strange event has happened to my health.”
She takes me back to her youth, already beginning featuring in the London theater in the production (she was selected at the age of nine). That’s when she was found to have the medical problem WPW, which can cause a tachycardia as well as vertigo and heart flutters. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an IV drip, and returning to the hospital at night.” She fast-forwards half a dozen years, and 17-year-old Jess has entered the trio the group while attending the performing arts school. “I secured a deal, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was ready to debut in recently I had a collision and my voice box shifted and I lost my voice for a twelve months.”
Wow, I say, slow down, I need a moment. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
